6/8/2016 0 Comments Open for BusinessI am completely exhausted. In the last 24 hours I've had a cocktail of prednisone with 150 mg of benadryl, 1600mg of ibuprofen and some antibiotics. I had to start my cocktail last night at 9:15, my second dose at 4:15am and the third dose at 9:15. I had to take my ibuprofen at 9:45 and more when I got home with an antibiotic. I am not much of a medicine taker especially since we started TTC. My face is hot and red, my heart is racing, my legs are restless, and my stomach is cramping horribly. I feel like I've been hit and dragged by a bus. BUT, our second HSG showed my fallopian tubes are OPEN! The first HSG could have shown blocked tubes because of spasms or mucous plugs that had been flushed out by the dye.
I read an article that said sixty percent of women who test "positive" for blocked tubes don't actually have blocked tubes. That's huge! I wish doctor's would tell you that upfront instead of making you wait 3 weeks! At the hospital, I was shocked again by the other women waiting for their HSG. They were both so healthy, young, and beautiful. I think I find ways to blame myself for this experience even though I know I shouldn't. Seeing these women reminds me of how it can happen to anyone for, seemingly, no logical reasons. Next steps: waiting (shocker). We must wait to get another appointment to discuss medications to get my hormones back on track. Despite my exhaustion, I feel hopeful. I am so nervous to feel hopeful because I know disappointments are only getting harder. We could get pregnant very quickly or it could take years or it could never happen. It is a hard for me to feel so out of control of my future. I've always been able to set goals, create a plan, and meet my goals. Now I just have hope and waiting. I love a good quote (obviously if you've been reading my blog). I was watching Criminal Minds the other day and heard another fabulous C.S. Lewis quote: "Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn." I am learning patience... or at least faking it until I (hopefully) make it.
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Heather Joyce
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April 2018
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