6/14/2016 0 Comments AcupunctureI recently stumbled onto a Lady Gaga quote, “You have to stop crying and you have to kick some ass.” I feel like I really need to take action and try new things. I normally like to think I’m a logical, scientific person. However, it seems desperation will take you to new experiences.
Yesterday I tried acupuncture for the first time. He asked me many questions, took my pulse and said my pulse is weak and I have low qi (chi) and this could be causing my “malfunction.” While the therapist was explaining to me about meridian lines and qi, I couldn’t help but think about the four humors. Part of me was waiting on him to bust out some tarot cards and predict my future. But, I sat patiently and thought, “What the hell? I may as well try it.” When I tuned back in, he was explaining that the acupuncture will help “awaken” my organs and increase blood flow. Then we went into a small room with no visual stimulation on the walls. He put three needles into each arm, some in my stomach and some on each of my legs and feet. I really could not feel the needles going in until he went back and “manipulated” them. I could feel slight cramping of my muscles in my left arm and left foot. It did go away quickly. Then he put a heat lamp directed at my belly and left me for 20 minutes. My busy brain was going crazy. Nothing to look at. No one to text. Then, my nose started to itch. I was terrified to move my arms because of the needles. It was a long twenty minutes with an itchy nose while I felt like the guy from Hellraiser. Finally, the therapist came back in and took the needles out. I managed to quickly scratch my nose before he asked me to flip over so he could put glass cups on my back for the cupping process. They were hot and I could feel my skin being sucked into the cups. It was oddly relieving. Of course, all I could think about was the episode from Supernatural where there was a fat sucking monster sucking fat from people at spas while they did cupping. After a few minutes, the therapist came back and removed the cups and we were all done. I checked the mirror to see if there were any marks that would indicate he was a fat sucking monster and removed some of my fat as a bonus… No such luck. But I did have 8 gnarly bruises that made me look like I had been attacked by an octopus. Within minutes of leaving my stomach began fluttering constantly and later that evening it was cramping pretty badly. Perhaps my reproductive organs have been “awakened.” I was completely exhausted all night and slept great. I have heard many women swear by acupuncture so hopefully this is helpful whether it’s completely logical or not. We have our next appointment with the fertility specialist in a little over an hour. Hopefully, we can get started on other treatments soon.
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Heather Joyce
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