3/13/2017 0 Comments Two Week Wait: Day OneToday is certainly going by at a snail’s pace. The doctor’s office recommended I take today off to lay on the couch and I can’t say that there’s any other prescription I would jump at the chance to take advantage of. This morning after my progesterone shot I got ready for acupuncture. I was so hoping this was my last appointment. Alas, I was wrong. She wants me to come once more this week and twice next week. At least I don’t have to do the cupping anymore.
After acupuncture, I went to Target to peruse. I spent a good chunk of time in there looking around. Of course I did my best to avoid the baby section like the plague. Although I’ve made numerous promises that I wouldn’t buy another book until I’ve read the ones I’ve bought and haven’t read yet…I found myself in my favorite aisle. Naturally, several of the books gave me that old familiar come-hither look. After checking them out on Good Reads, I decided it was okay to buy another book. After all, I have plenty of time to kill the next two weeks! I figure if I’m going to have a vice it may as well be reading. I came home got myself a snack: Brazil nuts and avocado. It may not be scientifically helpful to eat two week wait foods, but I’m taking no chances. I also finished a book I’ve been reading and did some laundry. I’ve watched several episodes of Wheel of Fortune and it’s still somehow not quite 12:45. To say I’m acutely sensitive to every twitch, twinge, or sensation in my abdomen is an understatement. At this point, I don’t even know if they’re real or imagined. I’m glad you start progesterone before your transfer because my uterus weighs 100 pounds right now. Had I not known this was definitely a side effect of the progesterone, I’d already be painting the nursery. IF this does work, the embryo won’t actually implant for several more days. So I know anything I’m feeling now is a product of the medications and/or my over active imagination. This is my first proper two week wait since our first IUI in the summer. If that IUI had worked, we would be having our baby this month. That’s mind boggling. I keep trying to rein in my hope. I want so badly to feel hopeful and positive, but the crash from that will be unbearable if this doesn’t work. Every time I close my eyes I see a positive pregnancy test, but in the next breath it’s negative. I keep playing out in my mind getting the phone call after our blood test. They said they’d be able to call by noon-ish, but I think I’m going to ask them to wait until 5:00-ish. I know that as soon as I answer the phone the timbre of the nurse’s voice is going to give away the results immediately. I’ve gotten bad news on the phone too many times to not instantly recognize it. I don't think I can do middle-of-the-day bad news. I’ve sworn off Googling and so far that’s gone well. I’ve even avoided posting in my support groups, “What day did you guys start testing after 3 day transfer?” or “Who got pregnant on their first IVF transfer?” I figure it really doesn’t matter what the statistics are. Either it’s going to work or it isn’t. It doesn’t matter if we have a 99.9% chance of working. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. We’ve already overcome many statistics just by getting this far. However, today in one of my support groups someone posted about their egg retrieval only resulting in one egg and wondered what everyone’s experience with that has been. I saw 16 comments. I had to read them. Of course our internet is crap. My phone would not load the comments. I was overcome with insanity. I turned off the WIFI and attempted to reload it. STILL WASN’T LOADING. So, instead of taking this as a sign I should back away from the internet, I restarted my phone and tried again. Finally, the comments loaded. Most of the comments were just people responding back and forth. But two of the comments were pictures of beautiful babies. Their mother’s one and only golden egg. I want this to work more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. So, so far this two week wait is going by as slowly as I expected. I have roughly 264 hours to go (depending on what time I ask them to call me), but who's counting? “Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go. I wanna be sedated. Nothin' to do and nowhere to go-o-oh. I wanna be sedated. Just get me to the airport; put me on a plane. Hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane.” – Ramones
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Heather Joyce
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