6/17/2016 2 Comments Turning On the LightI believe I’ve always had an unusual sense of humor. One of the only episodes of Rocky and Bullwinkle I can remember is when Natasha and Boris had been caught in an undertow on the beach. Natasha pulled Boris out and began to resuscitate him. She chanted, “In with the bad air; out with the good.” I couldn’t have been more than five, but I thought this was hilarious.
I always attempt to find humor in every situation. When I was younger and something bad would happen my parents used to say, “You may as well laugh about it; otherwise, the only option is crying.” On this journey, some days it is really difficult to find humor. I recently discovered a woman on twitter who takes the “laughter is the best medicine” approach. It’s definitely been the pick me up I needed. Yesterday I had my second acupuncture appointment. During all appointments that have required me to eventually end up in the nude, I have spent far too much time trying to pick out the most “appropriate” underwear choice. Seriously though. What kind of underwear are you supposed to pick at times like those?! Yesterday, I chose underwear with penguins on them. Might as well choose the ones I like. At the appointment he stuck all the needles in and manipulated them. This time I was prepared and made sure to scratch my face beforehand. This time I was going to practice mindfulness and think peaceful thoughts. I thought to myself with regulated breath, “in with the bad air out with the good.” Okay, so I was only trying to be positive. After about 10 minutes, my face started itching again. Seriously? Does my face normally itch this much?! After another eternity the therapist came back in. Whew!! That wasn’t so bad. Except he didn’t come back in to take out the needles. He came back in and manipulated them again and left me for another 20 minutes or so. Ugh. My face was so itchy. I decided to go ahead and scratch my face. You should never move when you have needles hanging out of your body. My arm muscles seriously cramped up. It’s amazing how hard it is to do nothing for such a short period of time. After the appointment, I had to do some grocery shopping so I went to our local grocery store. I stopped by the pharmacy to see how much my Clomid would cost. The doctor said around $2 a pill so $10 total. That’s not so bad. At the grocery store pharmacy they wanted $30 for the cash price. Um no thanks. I’ll try another store. Next stop, Costco. Costco’s cash price was $12, but $9 for members. Woohoo! I’ll take these please. (Side note: they also do discounted pet medications. Who knew?!) I have heard bad things about Clomid. Staring at the lengthy list of side effects is pretty daunting. I won’t list them all, but a preview includes “bloating, hot flashes, headaches, breast tenderness, dizziness, and headaches.” Under the more serious side effects includes, “abnormal vaginal bleeding, vision changes (could be permanent, but this is super rare so no worries, right?), and mental/mood changes.” Then of course there’s the list of “go to the emergency room right now” if you experience these symptoms: “severe swelling, rapid weight gain, chest pain, vomiting, decrease in urination, swelling of the face and throat, etc.” Well then… That shouldn’t be too bad… I was reading a thread on a Facebook support group about those who have had side effects on Clomid. Some had reported horrible insomnia. What? This isn’t even on my lengthy list of possible side effects! One lady described a hot flash so sudden and severe she started stripping off her clothing in a mall. Her husband was quickly reactive and tried to shield her and get her clothes back on. Well that sounds fun I guess… Other women described delayed side effects. So, they thought they had been in the clear while they were taking the medicine but then they suddenly found themselves hanging up on costumers at work and yelling or sobbing hysterically at their husbands for not having marinara sauce for breadsticks. As I was reading these to my husband, I confessed I was nervous to take the medicine. He replied, “You shouldn’t be the one that’s nervous. I’m the one that should be nervous.” I’m a school psychologist so I have the summer off from school so this shouldn’t be so bad. Oh wait. I’m doing summer work for extra money to help pay for all this stuff. Hopefully, I can strategically schedule things around any potential mood swings. So, now we are waiting again. I have never wished away a summer so much. It’s halfway through June and I haven’t even read a single book. I have, however, watched at least two thirds of a season of Criminal Minds. I have to wait until day 5 of my next cycle to start the medicine. My next cycle isn’t due until June 26th IF everything comes on time. That means I can’t start the medicine until June 30th. I feel so trapped. I have a big even that I’ve been looking forward to for 10 years. Yes a 10 year reunion that I’m actually looking forward to. Not one for graduating high school (although this should be a year for a 10 year reunion). But, 10 years since I first worked at my beloved summer camp. If things do not come on their schedule I could potentially miss an event I’ve literally been waiting on for a decade. I will be totally devastated if I am unable to go to this. We can’t really plan to go anywhere. We have to be here when I get a positive ovulation kit to go for our turkey baster treatment. Please body, for the love of God, do things on time. Now to leave this post with one of my favorite Dumbledore quotes: “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” I love this quote so much. If it weren’t so long , I think I would tattoo it on my body.
2 Comments
Juralee
6/17/2016 01:54:01 pm
You could always shorten it to, 'remember to turn on the light'
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Heather
6/29/2016 12:19:40 pm
It still seems too long.. haha I can't think of any body parts I would want something permanent on. But I love the idea of it.
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Heather Joyce
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