7/15/2016 0 Comments Virginia is for (fertile) LoversThis morning I had my ovary check. I went in for my sonogram and there was a resident doctor. I’m pretty sure I was her first because she seemed totally clueless as to what she was doing and, well, let’s just say she didn’t have a gentle hand. Supposedly my ovaries are cyst free and look great. Although if they tell us something different next time I wouldn’t be totally shocked. Next stop blood work.
These poor nurses. Bless their hearts. I do not have great veins, but I have never had the trouble of getting blood work like I do with these two nurses. It was the same pair that struggled to get my blood for an hour at my first appointment. The first nurse poked and prodded in one arm. She couldn’t get any blood at all. So she resigned and decided to get the other nurse. Again, poking and prodding. I’m really not bad with needles at all (thank goodness). She then used a sharpie to make two dots on my arm so she didn’t miss the vein (seems like a rookie movie to me). She finally hit the vein. Blood started coming out. I suddenly became very sick. “Oh no,” I thought to myself. I will not pass out before the vial is full. I kept watching the blood slowly ooze out into the vial. My head got swimmy. My ears were ringing. I chanted to myself, “I will not pass out” over and over. I was afraid to say anything because I didn’t want her to stop. FINALLY. The vial was full. She looked at me and I mustered out “my ears are ringing.” She hurried up and helped me from the chair to a table and got a wet, cold washcloth for my head. The whole blood drawing/passing out process took about 25 minutes (literally, not exaggerating). So naturally the doctor was now with another patient so I had to wait forever to see the doctor. I spent approximately 45 seconds with the doctor and the resident. They told me my ovaries looked great and were cyst free and they will post my progesterone results to my patient portal when they are available. They told me if my progesterone is lower than expected they’ll give me a higher dose of Clomid next month. I’m glad they seem positive that this has worked. Then it was time to pay. I was still woozy and not feeling great. My IUI was on a Saturday so I still had to pay for that. Long before we had the IUI I called to specifically ask how much the IUI would cost. Apparently I was not specific enough with this question. I would imagine if someone is asking how much this costs they want to know ALL of the fees affiliated with having this procedure. Silly me. Apparently you need to ask how much each individual service costs. Originally, I was told it would cost $373. Turns out it actually costs $546. Fabulous. I was too sick and tired to ask what the cost difference was. I have literally lost count of how much money we’ve given them. I’m thinking we are nearing the $3,000 mark at this point. I’m sure we will get some more bills for the blood work too. Add all of the acupuncture I’ve been doing on top of that and I just can’t even think about it. It turns out that Virginia is not for lovers. I don’t understand why Virginia refuses to include fertility treatments under health insurance. It's so tempting to move to another state. On the way home I had to choke back tears. I try to remain strong but some days are just too hard. It’s hard not to feel violated and broken. My nether regions feel violated, my veins felt violated, and my bank account feels totally raped. I’m so thankful to have friends who understand this draining process because being able to debrief with friends in these moments is the only thing keeping me sane some days. I’m about half way through my two week wait now. My original euphoria has certainly worn down. I think I’m heading to the downward spiral of despair. I’m trying to remain positive, but I also have to be realistic that this may not work. I'll have to hold on to what little hope is left over the next 8 days. I’ve been binge watching Criminal Minds like there’s nothing else on TV. This quote is really ringing with me right now: "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live." -- Norman Cousins
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Heather Joyce
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